OK. I get it. It’s my time for some serious butt-kicking… i.e. being on the end of it. OK Miss Pollyanna….can you cope now? Can you cope with family members with spinal tumours, or hanging from the end of a rope, or your business slowly sinking as people move out of London? Or siblings deciding that it’s too difficult to spend time with each other? Can you? I, Universe, dare you to cope. What?…are you holding back tears, are you? I dare you to crumble. Trouble sleeping?…there, there. Biff. And biff again. Stop whingeing…do you have a home? Do you have food? You do? Then you can take it. Bam.
Undeniably, there has been massive, massive change for the better. Things are massively better for me than they were for my ancestors. But…the world (the people and the planet) has a sore butt. Actually the world has always had a sore butt. It was born with a sore butt and it looks like the sore is in dire need of antibiotics. And there is no way we can say that anything has really changed, at least on the negative side of things. There have always been psychopathic leaders, wars, greed, murder, rape, torture, floods, fires, plagues. Always. This is the regular backdrop of the movie. But…. this not what I see outside my window….right here and now. I remember a clip from a film where I think an aboriginal man stands observing war/chaos all around, but is not part of it..- can’t remember which film. Finding an internal balance has to be the way for me…a still, unchanging, worry-free place where, in truth, my Father and I reside…and watch the wild movie with silent compassion, from a place of knowing. I see my mother laughing and taking immense care and joy picking out and then eating a scrummy watermelon. I see my husband being the beautiful, caring, loving, empathic, compassionate person that he is. I see the stunning fox who comes to our back door for breakfast (the cat’s leftovers) every morning. Everything, but everything I need, is right on my doorstep. Here and now, all is well.
Learning. Learning to trust. Learning that all lessons push me in one direction only – the one and only inevitable direction of safety and peace in God. I’m learning to be a better pupil. C minus…could do a lot better.
But all shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well. And both the highs and the lows are imposters, to be treated just the same. Must remember to wear sunscreen.